


Augmented

by Davechicken



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, Prosthetics, Warning for people feeling uncomfortable after injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 07:31:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11226234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Hux is sure his cybernetic eye is disgusting Kylo.





	Augmented

**Author's Note:**

> Please do not read if someone being self-conscious following prosthetics is upsetting to you.

It’s not like the cybernetics don’t bring his function right back to where it was, with some additional infra-red and diagnostic skills. If it’s from a purely utilitarian point of view, then the device he’s forced to wear, pushed into his socket and augmenting his eye, he’s _better_ than he was before.

Functionally.

If only it were that simple.

The device is shored into his face, and although it’s covered over as much as possible, there’s still scar tissue. The augmented filter that sits over and emulates a normal eye doesn’t dilate or constrict like a ‘regular’ one, or not to the same extent as his natural eye, and that makes it unsettling at first. The electrodes wired into his optic nerve are all hidden, but the gash that runs over his face, cutting through his eyebrow and into his cheek… it’s unmistakable.

Hux hadn’t been sure how he’d feel once the swelling went down. It’s just… aesthetic, but it’s… also not. It’s there, every time anyone looks at him. It’s there, every time he looks in the mirror. It’s there when he rubs his eyes when he’s tired. It’s there in the regular check ups and upgrades. It’s… there. A permanent reminder of his failure to operate as well as he should (i.e. perfectly).

And worse, now Ren is avoiding him. 

Is he truly that ugly? Just because there’s a score across his face? It’s not nearly as disfiguring as Hux imagined, even though the implant definitely slowed the recovery, and made a bigger impact. Without it, his depth perception would be reduced, so…

Hux has never thought of himself as attractive. He’s - his goals were always something more material, more… tangible than some distant, subjective target. He’d been fine with ‘not horrifying’, until he’d ended up bedding the Knight. 

But now the Knight won’t come near him, won’t meet his eyes (or eye and a half), and spends as much time as possible away from him.

Which. Is.

It’s… shocking how much he’s come to depend upon him. Not just for _work-based_ reasons (though he knows he needs him for them), but for… companionship. Company. _Emotional stuff_. He doesn’t even really care if Kylo never wants to fuck him again, but to go from someone he could confide in, someone he could relax around, to being shunned like some pariah?

He holds out as long as he can, before he finally confronts him. He feels… he feels… every bit of his skin is parched of fluids, other than his palms and his forehead. Everything is _fragile_ , and he is sure he’s able to feel his bone-marrow melting. 

But he has to do this.

He’d never forgive himself if he let Kylo Ren just walk away.

“If you’re going to shun me, you could at least be an adult about it. I didn’t know aesthetics were _that_ important to you,” he sneers, sounding more angry than he wanted to. He wanted to _mend_ bridges, not **burn** them.  


“…that’s what you think this is?”  


“It’s pretty obvious from where I’m standing! You think I’m disgusting, and you won’t–”  


Kylo’s hand lifts, asking for silence. Hux _seethes_ in annoyance, but grants it. 

“It isn’t that.”  


“Then _why_ won’t you come near me?”  


“…It’s… my fault.”  


“Well, yes, that’s patently obvious.” Hux would roll his eyes if he weren’t so close to choking on a sob.   


“Your injury. It’s _my_ fault for not… protecting you.”  


“So you punish me by dumping me?”  


“I can’t - when I look at you, all I see is how I hurt you, Hux, I–”  


Wait. So this whole thing is _guilt_? “Look at me, right now.”

Kylo shakes his head.

“ **Look. At. Me.** The pain you said you should have stopped - the physical pain - is _nothing_ compared to you _walking out of my life_ like I mean nothing more than something to look pretty on your arm.”  


“Hux, that… that isn’t what I…” Kylo stares at the ceiling, his jaw working his neck-muscles tight. “I… I’m _sorry_. I… it isn’t that you… I…”  


Fuck. Hux walks over, grabbing Kylo’s hand. He rips off his glove, and slams the man’s hand on his cheek. “Feel it.”

“Hux!”  


“Feel it. I’m - I’m _broken_. I’m… flawed. But I’m _still alive_. And if I’m alive, I can still _hurt_. If I was dead, I wouldn’t be able to.”  


Kylo won’t look, but his fingertips slide into the scar tissue, stroking it so softly that Hux could almost scream. 

“If you push me away, it would hurt me far worse than any injury ever could,” he admits. “So. Don’t.”  


“I’m sorry,” Kylo says, finally looking at him. “Does it hurt… here?”  


“No. Not any more.” A wan smile. “Not physically.”  


Hux closes his eyes as Kylo leans in, his lips going to his brow, kissing him ‘better’. It hurts, but it isn’t physical. And at least he knows it isn’t for the Knight, either. 


End file.
